Summer Reflections (Torey)

The last few months have been fairly hectic for me. I’ve been working 40 hours a week at my retail job and activities at the house have increased significantly. It used to be that I could use my day off and go to off ramps, motels, or areas where homeless people hangout and get in a day’s worth of ministry, and then focus on work for the next five days. This summer however, the Lord has put us in several relationships that, by nature of their circumstances, involved them spending quite a bit of time at the 1304 House. No longer could I use my day off for ministry and keep the rest of my week for myself, because ministry awaited me as soon as I came in the door. It became a constant frustration as I began to feel as if I never had time for myself. Soon I started to merely tolerate the people that I was supposed to love. I placed the blame for my frustration on these people, rather than my lack of love for them. I knew that I needed to change my attitude- and the first step was to change my heart.

I started by reading through Luke – paying special attention to scripture that applied to my situation. The most obvious thing that stood out to me was that I still needed to love people even if having them around was tiresome. Jesus’ words about loving without expecting anything back were a stern rebuke to me that my heart was in the wrong place. It also became clear to me that I was being very judgmental and this was a major hindrance in loving them. Here are some of the observations and teachings that jumped out at me, and how they pertain to my situation:

-Jesus values and seeks time away from the crowds in order to spend time with God, so it certainly is not wrong for me to desire that for myself. However, if Jesus attempts to leave the crowd and they follow him, he still pours out love on them. Therefore, I should not leave the scene if it means people will not be cared for. It has become abundantly clear to the 1304 Community that none of us are capable of pouring out love to others unceasingly, and we all need time to rest and be refueled by God. This is exactly why we function as a community, and we need to look out for each other and be honest about our weakness.

-The love I give others is not wasted on them. I may not get anything in return, but I am promised reward from God. Jesus says, “But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.”

-We are called to do more than we are asked to when it comes to how we love and serve God and our neighbors. Luke 17:7, “So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘we are unworthy servants we have only done our duty.’” Making dinner for someone and asking them how their day is a nice thing to do, but I am expected to do much, much more.

Looking at how Jesus lived and what he said to do was certainly condemning of my mindset, but it was also a great motivation get my heart back in the right place and keep on loving. The 1304 community has come together while working hard to make sure we’re loving people well and relying on God and each other for strength and encouragement. The Bible isn’t lying when it says that obeying Jesus will cost your life, but I know that there is no one better than God to trust it with.