A Reminder - Hannah
School has started!
Last week I had two hard midterms, one of them that I was particuarly nervous about because it was for the first 400-level class I've ever taken. I studied as much as I possibly could in the day and a half before the test, and when mid-morning of test day rolled around I was on the bus heading for school. On the bus I was ridiculously nervous, convinced I was going to fail, etc. (I don't claim that this makes sense, but it's apparently how I am...so I have discovered) I was simultaneously reading my Bible, trying to relax, being amazed at how beautiful a day it was, and looking at everyone else riding the bus; all the while my stomach was starting to turn and I could feel my nervousness building. As I was watching a man walk across the aisle to comb his hair in the reflection of a window, I had a light bulb moment. I suddenly realized--not just thought or intellectually knew--that it didn't matter how I did on my test. Not to say that "my education" doesn't matter, but that if I had studied and learned the stuff I need to know for it then the rest--the score I get on the test, whether I pass the class--really didn't matter. What did matter was God, his Word, the people riding the bus with me, the beauty of the day....
I know this may offer no tremendous insight, I'm really just thankful that God gave me even a momentary understanding this clear; where I realized the important and the unimportant, and the need to not allow school and nerves to shut out everything else around me. This realization was not nearly so fresh in my mind by the time I got to school and the test was closer at hand, and I had to convince myself all over again...but the moment stuck with me. I guess God knows I need frequent reminders.
Last week I had two hard midterms, one of them that I was particuarly nervous about because it was for the first 400-level class I've ever taken. I studied as much as I possibly could in the day and a half before the test, and when mid-morning of test day rolled around I was on the bus heading for school. On the bus I was ridiculously nervous, convinced I was going to fail, etc. (I don't claim that this makes sense, but it's apparently how I am...so I have discovered) I was simultaneously reading my Bible, trying to relax, being amazed at how beautiful a day it was, and looking at everyone else riding the bus; all the while my stomach was starting to turn and I could feel my nervousness building. As I was watching a man walk across the aisle to comb his hair in the reflection of a window, I had a light bulb moment. I suddenly realized--not just thought or intellectually knew--that it didn't matter how I did on my test. Not to say that "my education" doesn't matter, but that if I had studied and learned the stuff I need to know for it then the rest--the score I get on the test, whether I pass the class--really didn't matter. What did matter was God, his Word, the people riding the bus with me, the beauty of the day....
I know this may offer no tremendous insight, I'm really just thankful that God gave me even a momentary understanding this clear; where I realized the important and the unimportant, and the need to not allow school and nerves to shut out everything else around me. This realization was not nearly so fresh in my mind by the time I got to school and the test was closer at hand, and I had to convince myself all over again...but the moment stuck with me. I guess God knows I need frequent reminders.
posted by Anonymous at 1:23 PM
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